Golden days
by Paimpont
Summary: Harry and Sirus discover ancient magic... Slash warning.
1. Chapter 1

Perhaps it was the weather that made him do it.

After a gray, gloomy summer, the last days of August had broken the spell of the perpetual rain. The last few days of summer were suffused with a golden sunlight, accompanied by a slight chill, a whisper of the autumn that was to come.

Soon, it would be time to go back to Hogwarts. Harry spent these last precious golden days wandering through the woods near the Burrow with Sirius. There was no danger of meeting anyone, since the ancient forest at the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole was so wild and overgrown that walking in it was difficult. But Harry and Sirius loved roaming through the pathless forest, getting tangled in its labyrinth of brambles.

They talked easily, like old friends. It was difficult to believe that they had only met a year ago. Talking to Sirius was not at all like talking to Ron and Hermione, thought Harry. Even though they were his best friends, they were still… other people. Someone outside himself, someone he had to explain his thoughts to. Sirius was different. Talking to Sirius was not like talking to another person; it was like talking to yourself. There was nothing he couldn't say. Even his darkest thoughts were met with a quiet unassuming acceptance. There was no horror at his most terrifying fears and fantasies, no attempts at making him see things in a different light. Talking to Sirius was a lot like thinking. Like daydreaming. Sirius simply listened, and loved him unconditionally.

In return, Harry listened quietly as Sirius tried, and failed, to capture his shadow existence in Azkaban in words. He held Sirius as he wept, and listened to the fragmented sentences that came out of his mouth with silence. Their friendship grew through that silence, for they both knew that the terror of Azkaban was beyond words. But perhaps Sirius sensed that Harry, after living year after year with the Dursleys without any hope or joy, understood Azkaban better than most.

Soon September would come, and Harry would have to return to Hogwarts. But not quite yet... They still had a few more golden late summer days left, filled with companionship and lazy walks through the woods.

"I wonder if there is magic in this forest," Harry had speculated idly one afternoon as they were lying side by side in the moss, surrounded by shady ferns.

Sirius had smiled then, his gaunt face suddenly younger. "All forests have magic in them, Harry," he said softly. His glance traveled up through the tangled branches above them, toward the golden haze of light that filtered through the dark green of the leaves.

"The magic that they teach you at Hogwarts is only one kind among many, but very few realize that. But there are other, older forms of magic that can't be controlled by spells or wands… Can you feel the power of this place? There is a… a holiness about this forest, an ancient force that grips your heart. Can you feel it?"

Sirius leaned up on his elbow and looked at Harry. His smile transformed his dark face, made it somehow unbearably beautiful. Harry felt a sudden stab of pain – or was it joy? – as he looked up into Sirius' face.

Sirius' face was a flame… Harry couldn't breathe. What was this intolerable longing?

He reached out for Sirius, pulled him closer. And his lips searched for Sirius' lips, pressed toward him in a kiss….

Sirius pulled back. "No!"

He looked at Harry, sudden horror in his dark eyes. "No, Harry, no!"

Harry let go, stung. He looked at Sirius' horrified face and realized the full, terrible nature of his transgression. What had he done? They used to be one, friends, inseparable, and now his impulsive act had created a chasm between them...

Without thinking, Harry leaped to his feet and ran back through the forest toward the Burrow. Thorns tore at his body as he ran through the brambles, but the pain was welcome, soft, dull, compared to the fierce aching of his heart. What had he done???

---

He wanted to hide, but had no chance to do so. Ron and Hermione were suddenly there the moment he came in the front door of the Burrow. They were chattering happily about something…what was it? He had no idea.

Harry found himself pushed into a seat at the dinner table, between Ron and Hermione. Food was piled in front of him, and laughter and voices filled the air. As if everything was normal.

And then the door opened, and Sirius came in. Harry did not look up, but Sirius' presence, his every move, burned through Harry's consciousness.

Harry tried to engage in the meaningless conversation at the table. He chatted lightly with Ron, always aware of the man he never looked at.

What had he done???? He had ruined the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him, put an end to the friendship with the friend he loved above all others.

But suddenly, as the meal was drawing to a close, he felt a light hand on his shoulder. Sirius was standing behind his chair. He bent down and said softly – but loudly enough for Ron and Hermione to hear: "I need a word with you after dinner, Harry. Could you come to my room, please?"

"Of course," said Harry quickly, without looking up. He talked with Hermione about exams until he ran out of things to say… and then Ron and Hermione got up from the table.

They headed out the door together.

"Better find out what Sirius wants, then, Harry," said Ron as they left.

…

Harry's heart was beating wildly as he knocked on Sirius' door. The door was flung open. Sirius was there, pulled him into the room, closed the door.

Harry sank down into a chair and covered his face with his hands.

A hand touched his lightly, pulled his hands away from his face. "Harry?"

Sirius spoke his name so softly, almost tenderly…

Harry kept his glance down.

"I am so sorry!" he burst out. And he pulled his hand away from Sirius' and covered his face again.

"Sorry?" Sirius' voice seemed to come from far away. "Whatever for, Harry?"

This was not the response he had expected. Harry glanced up in utter bewilderment.

Sirius knelt down by his chair, and Harry noted in wonder that his expression was loving, tender… How could this be?

"I am sorry for what I did," Harry mumbled. "It was unforgiveable." He groaned. "I have ruined everything. You are the best and truest friend I ever had, and I have ruined it…"

"Unforgivable?" Sirius' voice was soft. "Do you think so little of me, Harry? Do you think me incapable of forgiving…a kiss?"

Harry felt a hand stroking his hair, softly.

"You are not angry with me?" he asked in wonder. "But you seemed… so… horrified…." His voice trailed off.

A brief smile danced across Sirius' face. Had he always been this handsome?

"Not horrified, Harry," he said in a low voice. "Not horrified, but terrified." He smiled at Harry's confusion.

"How could I feel horror at what you did, Harry? You acted out of love, out of all the stored-up love in your pure heart. But I – oh, Harry – I was terrified by how your sweet, innocent kiss made me feel!"

Sirius grasped Harry's hands, held them, trembling, in his own.

"How can I make you understand this? You are still a child, a boy –"

Harry was about to protest, but Sirius cut him off with an impatient gesture.

"You are, you know, even if you don't think so. You have been through more than most, but you are not yet a man. How could you possibly understand how terrified I was when I, who am your friend, your guardian, your protector, was overwhelmed by the desire to…to…"

His voice faltered. He was silent for a moment. Then he sighed softly. "…to kiss you back," he finished in a low voice.

It was as if all the golden light of the late summer days they had shared were contained in those few words. Harry looked at Sirius in wonder. Was it possible - ?

The afternoon light shone softly through the window. Sirius' eyes were dark, darker than night, burning…

Harry's breath caught in his chest. He reached up, touched Sirius' face.

"Sirius," he whispered. "Do you love me?"

It was not a question he had thought to ask, but a question that sprung, suddenly, from his heart.

Sirius was still for a moment.

"Of course I love you, Harry," he said finally. "You are my dearest, dearest friend in the world. I would go back to Azkaban and suffer the dementors a hundred times over if it could bring you a moment's joy."

Harry met his eyes. "Do you love me just as a friend, then?" he asked. Where did this sudden boldness come from?

Sirius' face flushed. "Oh, Harry, how else can I love you?" he exclaimed. "Your parents trusted me to be your protector, your guardian, your mentor. I will not let them down."

Harry looked at him. Suddenly, he got up and flung his arms around Sirius. Sirius drew his breath sharply, but returned the embrace. Then they stood still, endlessly still, in a tight embrace that seemed to last longer than all eternity. Harry became aware of a wild beating against his chest; then he realized it was Sirius' heart. A sudden joy surged through him, and his lips found Sirius' neck, his face…

Sirius moaned. Softly, sweetly. Harry felt as if the world had stopped. Then, when he found his breath again, he searched, impatiently, for Sirius' lips with his own, and this time, Sirius did not pull away.

Sirius kissed him… Oh, what magic was this? He felt the softness and the fire of Sirius' kisses, felt his body tremble… Time stopped. The world stopped. Nothing else existed, only the unbearable sweetness of this moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

After an eternity, Sirius stepped back. He put his hand under Harry's chin, lifted his face gently.

"Harry…" Sirius' voice was soft, but his dark eyes were burning. "Harry, tell me… tell me what you want from me…"

How impossibly beautiful Sirius was at that moment! When Harry had first seen him, the shadows of Azkaban had still hung over Sirius, lingered over his gaunt features like some invisible dark specter. But now his face illuminated by an almost unearthly beauty, a radiance, a fire…

"I want your love, Sirius," Harry whispered. He reached up, touched Sirius' lips.

Sirius' arms tightened around him. "You have my love, always, Harry. But you are still.. a boy almost, a child. What does love mean to you? What do you need me to be for you?"

"I'm not a child!" Harry flared at him.

Sirius smiled then. "Perhaps not. But not quite a man either. You are – what? Sixteen? What do you know of love, Harry?" His voice grew even softer. "Have you ever…been with anyone?"

Harry shook his head. "I have never wanted to. Not until now."

"And now -?" Sirius' whisper was almost inaudible.

In response, Harry pressed his body against Sirius', hard. He knew that Sirius could feel his erection against his body. Sirius moaned softly. "Oh, God. Are you sure, Harry – ?"

"I'm sure." Harry pulled Sirius over to the narrow bed by the wall. As they sank down on the bed, Sirius finally abandoned all restraint. He grasped Harry urgently, fiercely, and the rest was fire, forbidden, luminous, all-consuming fire…

---

It was only at dawn, as the first gentle, blue light of morning began to fill the room, that Harry was able to tear himself away. He kissed Sirius softly one last time before heading back to his own room for a brief while before breakfast. He did not want to be seen coming out of Sirius' room, not yet. Their secret was still too new, too sweet.

He closed the door to Sirius' room behind him. For a moment he stood still, with his hand still on the door handle. The memory of Sirius' skin still lingered against his own. Wonderingly, he reached up and touched his own lips where Sirius' kiss had been a moment before…

Then he saw that he was not alone in the hallway.

A few feet away, Snape's dark form was a silhouette of night against the soft light of morning. Apparently, the Weasleys had received another house guest during the night.

"Potter – " Snape's voice was always icy, but now it seemed to tremble, to crack with a chill so terrifying it struck Harry to the heart.

He stood motionless.

Snape came closer. "What is the meaning of this, Potter - ? Why – why were you in Black's room at this hour?" His dark eyes swept Harry's bare chest.

"And so lightly dressed, too?" There was sarcasm in Snape's voice, but something else, too, something far more dangerous.

"I stayed with Sirius tonight." Harry met Snape's glance, held it, defiantly, until Snape's dark gaze gave way. A flush stole over his teacher's pale cheeks.

"For what purpose, may I ask, were you visiting an escaped criminal in his bedroom at night?" Snape's voice had sunk to whisper.

"He is my lover," Harry's voice trembled, but he felt a sweet shock of pleasure at saying the words. His lover…

He heard Snape draw his breath sharply. Then he felt the potion master's hands gripping his shoulders, hard. "Harry!" Snape's face was white.

Since when did Snape call him "Harry"?

"Is Black hurting you?"

Harry looked up into Snape's eyes, uncomprehendingly. "What?"

"What is he doing to you, Harry? What kind of dark spell has he cast on you -?"

There was a strange urgency – and a tenderness? – in Snape's glance as it searched his face. What was this? Was Snape concerned about him? The world seemed to have stopped making any sense at all.

"There is no spell," he said curtly. "I love him. That's all."

"You love him -?" Snape echoed softly. "Don't be absurd, Harry! You are little more than a child, and he is a dangerous criminal…."

"He's _innocent_, as you damn well know!" Harry felt his temper rising.

Snape shook his head. "Sirius Black is far from innocent, Harry. Oh, yes, innocent of one particular crime, as it turns out, but he is still a dangerous man. I have known him for much longer than you have, you foolish boy. He is arrogant, cruel, vile… And whatever…whatever he is doing to you, Harry, makes him viler still. If he had an ounce of decency, of kindness, he would leave you alone. I can well believe that he finds pleasure in exploiting you, but don't let yourself be ensnared by this man. _Stay away from Black, Harry!_"

Harry looked at Snape in wonder. What had come over his potions teacher? Since when did Snape care whether someone exploited him or not? He tried to shake off the strange feeling of unreality.

"Listen," he said, looking up into Snape's impossibly dark eyes. "Sirius is a good man. He would rather die than hurt me. And he was not the one seducing me. I was the one who fell in love with him first."

"You fell _in love_ with Sirius Black?"

Had Snape's old sarcasm come back? Harry felt an odd relief that the potions master seemed to have become himself again. The other, gentler Snape had been too much to fathom.

"For heaven's sake, Potter, _why?_" Ah, good, Snape called him "Potter" again.

"I know that you have a certain flair for the dramatic, but even you can surely find a more interesting object for your adolescent obsession that a deranged criminal fresh out of Azkaban… It cannot have escaped your attention that your loyal friend Miss Granger possesses an uncommon beauty as well as a brilliant mind…" Snape caught sight of Harry's face. "_Don't tell her I said that, you idiotic boy, unless you want me to repeat the rest of our conversation tonight as well!"_

"No, sir. I won't say anything, sir." Harry felt an almost uncontrollable urge to laugh.

Snape went on: "And if your depraved sensibilities are not aimed at females, can't you at least direct your attention at your moronic freckled friend?"

"_Ron?_"

"I can assure you that I understand your disgust at the thought, Potter, but unlike Black, Weasley is at least harmless."

Harry shook Snape's hands off his shoulders. "Good night, Professor."

At that moment, the door opened behind them, and Sirius stepped out into the hallway. His dark curls hung disheveled about his face, and his eyes glittered as he caught sight of Harry.

"I thought I heard voices – "He frowned as he saw Snape's dark figure.

Snape was by his side in a flash. "I need a word with you, Black!" He pushed Sirius backwards through the bedroom door and snarled over his shoulder at Harry: "Go to your room, Harry. Now! I need to speak to Black for a moment." The door slammed shut behind them.

---

It was not until several hours later that Harry and Sirius were able to speak to each other again. Harry, who had by now lost all desire for both sleep and food, had dressed himself in a hurry and set off for the woods. He trusted that Sirius would find him there.

And Sirius came. Harry was lying in the soft moss, in the same spot where he had first kissed Sirius. He was hoping, somehow, that Sirius would know that this was the place to find him. And Sirius knew. He flung himself down on the ground next to Harry, his face paler than usual. "Finally, Harry!" he whispered.

"Are you all right, Sirius?" Harry brushed a dark curl away from Sirius' face. "Snape – what did he say?"

"Snape." Sirius sat up, studied the treetops above them for a moment. "Snape. He – well, he threatened to kill me, actually, Harry." Sirius spoke lightly, as if he was making some commonplace observation about the weather.

"To _kill _you – "Harry flung his arms around Sirius. "He can't mean that. I won't let anything happen to you."

He kissed Sirius wildly, and Sirius, after a moment's hesitation, kissed him back. Oh, the sweetness of Sirius' kisses! Harry felt lightheaded, as if it was champagne, not blood, bubbling through his veins.

But suddenly Sirius pulled back. He held Harry's face, softly, in his hands and looked at him with an expression of the utmost tenderness. "I love you, Harry," he whispered. "I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Of course not." Harry reached for Sirius' lips, but Sirius held him back.

"Harry!" His dark eyes were grave. "Do you feel – that I am taking advantage of you-?"

"What-?"

Oh, this was too absurd! What had Snape said to Sirius?

"Sirius, I love you with all my heart," whispered Harry. "I have never been as happy in my life as I have been these past few hours. I want you, with all my heart, my soul, my body. I can't live without you."

Sirius threw his arms around him, pressed him to his chest so tightly it almost hurt. "You really want this, then, Harry?"

"More than anything." A few satisfying moments followed, as their lips met.

"What on earth did Snape say to you, Sirius?" Harry asked finally.

Sirius flushed. "Oh, that I was a depraved criminal, taking cruel advantage of your innocence." His voice was suddenly anxious. "You would tell me, wouldn't you Harry, if you wanted me to keep away from you?"

Harry laughed. He kissed Sirius wildly. "I want you forever. Never doubt that."

"Pehaps," Sirius whispered softly into his ear, "Snape is just jealous. He is probably in love with you."

"_Snape?_ Don't be ridiculous. He hates me – and you, too."

Sirius' eyes sparkled. "Well, at least we have something in common, then, Harry!" They sank, laughing, into the moss, with their arms around each other as the new day rose.


End file.
